so, funny story
Alright, so last night Jenny & I saw The Roots play in Seattle, which ended up being one of the best & most perfect shows I have ever, wtfbbq ever seen. So let's set the scene here: the crowd has assembled (Jenny & I standing maybe 4-5 rows from the stage), the lights go off, massive cheers, weirdo pseudojamaican dudes behind us make trills & animal noises. A bass line plays, then spotlight as the Roots march single file to center stage behind a motherfucking tuba. On that note, things escalate. Everybody's enjoying the hell out of the first quarter of the set, when this megadrunk chick & her bf literally elbow past me yelling [direct quote] "I'm looking for my son, he's lost! I have to find my son!"
Oh man! I let her through. Then, just as she gets past me, she & her guy stop, and start dancing right in front of me. And I mean wild, gyrating, hitting people with her hair and arms "dancing." If she had just nudged her way past, it wouldn't have been nearly as offensive, but something about the lie was just... dishonorable? Whatever, it crossed a certain line. Anyway she's flailing around drunkenly, bumping into everybody, & several people actually turn to her with hands raised in diplomacy. Yet she continues.
I might not have done anything if she hadn't been almost constantly harassing Jenny, but she was, and edge-of-the-volcano style, with cat-like grace I stepped one leg a foot towards her, hands in pockets, and shoved her (pretty hard) into the people in front of her (who had just turned around). I then deftly stepped back to my original position, and just stared at Black Thought while grooving my whitest. She stared at me for probably 10 seconds as I suddenly enjoyed the show a whole lot more. She stopped her suffocating-fish dance, adopted a respectable groove, and in five more minutes was out of sight.
But the best part of the story! Oh, my brothers. As the woman begins to disappear into the crowd, I feel a patting on my arm. Suddenly realizing I just shoved - a woman - at a Hip-hop concert, I slowly turn around, and standing there is this tiny Asian girl with her bf, beaming at me, and she gave me an enthusiastic thumbs up. I laughed & smiled back, and the show, oh my brothers, just got better from there.
Oh man! I let her through. Then, just as she gets past me, she & her guy stop, and start dancing right in front of me. And I mean wild, gyrating, hitting people with her hair and arms "dancing." If she had just nudged her way past, it wouldn't have been nearly as offensive, but something about the lie was just... dishonorable? Whatever, it crossed a certain line. Anyway she's flailing around drunkenly, bumping into everybody, & several people actually turn to her with hands raised in diplomacy. Yet she continues.
I might not have done anything if she hadn't been almost constantly harassing Jenny, but she was, and edge-of-the-volcano style, with cat-like grace I stepped one leg a foot towards her, hands in pockets, and shoved her (pretty hard) into the people in front of her (who had just turned around). I then deftly stepped back to my original position, and just stared at Black Thought while grooving my whitest. She stared at me for probably 10 seconds as I suddenly enjoyed the show a whole lot more. She stopped her suffocating-fish dance, adopted a respectable groove, and in five more minutes was out of sight.
But the best part of the story! Oh, my brothers. As the woman begins to disappear into the crowd, I feel a patting on my arm. Suddenly realizing I just shoved - a woman - at a Hip-hop concert, I slowly turn around, and standing there is this tiny Asian girl with her bf, beaming at me, and she gave me an enthusiastic thumbs up. I laughed & smiled back, and the show, oh my brothers, just got better from there.
posted by josh p at 10:44 AM
1 Comments:
Not only do I approve of your actions... I also use the same method to get a seat on the bus here. :)
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